ACID SASH

hardly believe anything

i know hope lies beneath lives

but what’s in the future?

will i get into the same galaxy? of course not since there is no life after this life

nirvana or ….

i’m living in my own world……………………………..

can not say a word, hardly put on my blanket

problems are now insoluble

once i’ve furor of Him…hence it’s almost fade away

i’m not a fault-finder.. i just want to throw it all out

i would like to read what psalter write

but i can not…too many smoke—————–in my soul

here comes the reffrain

                     enggo enggo medage na

mulih me dage kena

bage manindu rupa ari o turang

take me away trojan horse cause i’m not true-blue anymore

1:42 AM - 3 hours  before the king of t day come out from the east

**why did you do this to me?

It’s always nice if you have a friend who’s always support you. but it’s even more nice if you have a sister and somehow she feel that you’re facing a problem while you didn’t tell her anything… i have 4 sisters and we’re close to each other. Throughout this week i feel really weak, i dint know why….. maybe because i often sleep in the morning because watching world cup ( ESPANA!!! ),, ha ha ha…it’s not a real reason actually.

Yesterday, suddenly i got a call from my cutie sister. Btw,She’s taking her college degree in Universitas Diponegoro (I’m so proud of her!). I was wondering why is she call me cause actually most of the time I’m the one who’s always contacting her. Well, you know, for a college student who lives outside t city, they dint have a huge pocket to make a distance call. She said she miss me and OF COURSE i miss her too. At the beginning we were only joking but then she was wondering if i’m facing a problem..At last, i shared my feelings (i couldn’t lie with her, never!.. she’s such a sweet sister). After t call, she sent me 3 sms:

"Ka, aq nemu ini utk referensi. LAPORAN KENDALA:mlprkan kendala yg sdh tjd n yg terestimasi. angka2 kasar sring digunakan,cth:jml jm kerja, hrsnya biaya tnaga kerja,jml brg,hrsnya biaya material.Dbuat tertulis ktika ada kndala signifikan. PROGRESS REPORT:mbandingkan biaya aktual&jdwl dgn rncana awl&biaya pkrjaan yg tlh sls."

"Tambahan:report dbtuhkan utk mjwb;apa proyek ssuai jdwl?apa pnylesainna ssuai stdr? apa ssuai biaya anggaran? Ak gtau soal presrelease, tp bos2 plu data ini. Krn kk blg blm ada progres, kembangin d cara kerja, siapa/apa n bgmn trgt,biaya,jdwl, n sp yg tgg jwb"

"Referensi biaya dll coba kk tanya k org yg ngerjain aktivitas sjenis. Luv u. Ayo bjuang! Ade jg bgadang nih"

"Sdkit lg,dear..just reminderljgn lupa tambahin sebab2 keterlambatan pengerkjaan dan areanya d laporan kndala-jk perlu.Luv u.take care!! Jgn lupa mkn ya."

"Hope it’ll help even just a bit Smangat ya kak, u are a passionate person, eager 2 learn, n a hardworker…dont let pressure wash it away! Gbu.Luv u."

Unbelievable rite?? She’s still in her 3rd year,yet she can give me such a good advice. Now, I’m back to my office and will do my job with a new spirit. She really BooST my energy…

–People come and go in your life but family, they will stay beside you and they will always put "BE STRONG - HANG ON THERE - YOU CAN DO IT" banner throughout your life –

Be stong and stand still. I always pray for you every nite dear, every single nite.. Dont loose your faith just because you couldnt fulfill your goals, dont force your self too hard… Your life path is still long way to go. I asked Him to give you guidance everyday and i know that you’re broken hearted now, Let It Go.. If you’re not happy there,then lay low for a while… Come back home, you can do whatever you want to do, i’ll take care of you. I’ve heard your stories, and you know what dear, i’ve been through all situation you’re facing now. That is life… Do remember, though you want something for a good reason, but not all people have the same perpectives like yours.. Keep on trying but again you’ve to prepared your self when you dont see it works. You’re bright girl, and i dont want to loose you,Sari.

What have you done ?

Gosh, i really need a time-break from all routinity! Though i just got back from Jakarta, but i realized it wasnt real holiday. I think i might be going to some place just by my own. I’m fully aware that i havent really talk to myself. Perhaps it’s one of the reason why my days lately become worst and worst and worst.

I gain something i lose something. Choosing decision among many options in front of us really hard for me. I sacrify my self to choose my fam instead of my work and yet i got fu**** up!! Hell, no. Well shits happen in life. I’m so pissed of my self. There’s one job desc which shouldnt be in my Scope of Work but suddenly there will be a team who’s going to make an audit tomorrow regarding one issue that eventually it should be done by me. Unbelieveable! I talked to my colleague and she said that i dont have to be worried cause it’s already mentioned in the operation manual that we are not allowed to deliver those issue.

….

for some reason i’ve to delete this post.

but i shall continue write what’s on my mind as always….